To help combat the steady wave of shoplifting in Japan (360 reported cases a day), authorities remind shop staff to stay vigilant and know that anyone who enters their store – whether a little school girl or her 89-year-old grandfather – is a potential criminal just aching to take your hard-earned merchandise.
Just look at the kitty pictured above. Cute lil’ guy doncha think?
Wrong! That pilfering feline has stolen hundreds of yen worth of cat food from a helpless major convenience store… possibly to sell on the street for crack-cocaine.
The following notice at a Kanto area 7-Eleven has been retweeted by over 17,000 defenders of justice looking to stop this menace.
The sign reads:
We need your help
Please do not feed this cat.
It enters the store and shoplifts cat food.
We told the cat that it was banned from the store but it didn’t listen.
Thank you for your cooperation
The cat is described as three-apples-tall, black, and walks in an aloof manner. It’s believed to be armed and dangerous and neither police nor 7-Eleven advise the public to try and lure it in with promises of head-scritches.
Cat psychologists such as my unemployed cousin speculate that, rather than dogs who are well-known to only steal for the money and bitches, cats have an ideological motive. They feel that multinational corporations excessively exploit the proletariat and by stealing cat food they help restore some of the global economic balance into their furry tummies.
Source: Twitter (Japanese)
Here’s my theory. The Harry Potter trio are actually representations of the other houses. Hermione is Ravenclaw. Ron is Hufflepuff. Harry is Slytheryn. They’re all in Gryffindor because they asked. In fact, everyone in that house could have been in another house if they hadn’t asked to be in Gryffindor. You have be ask to be in Gryffindor because their most defining feature is bravery and anyone can choose to be brave.
I fuck with your theory, marry me.